Lost
by Zandris
Summary: summary inside
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so star greaser didn't work out try this one yes I still need a beta, **

**this story i hope isn't marry sue, I'm trying to not make it marry sue but it might end up like that**

**okay so as i said before, review good bad i don't care i need critsim it makes me a stronger writer**

**if you don't like it you don't like it so you can go away**

**This girl is knida like Johnny but she takes all the blows forher little brother and sister, when her Big brother died everything fell apart. she get beat and raped in this story, and rember this might be set in the sixes but im bring some of today in to it, K. **

**Disclamiar: I do not own the Outsiders, I do own the Charters you do not recongnise, and the plot. **

**rember you don't have to like it **

**if you do good for you, **

**I'll try to make this one work okay then **

**Summary: She was alone, she took the beating so the others didn't have to take the pain. Once a happy girl, now a cold broken girl, just wanting to be a kid again. She knows her brother will never come back so she as to be strong for her faimly. can she make it? Will she let the Curtis gang help her?**

Oh by the way, Johnny and Pony know who she is but, don't know what she gose though, all they know is that she is a girl that lives next to Johnny.

* * *

With the doors swinging and the windows creaking, I felt, so alone. Nothing can seam to lift my spirts up. The paint on the house is peelin. It is no longer a sky blue, but a crying gray. Nothing seams to able, to live in this house, but here I am sitting on the old rocking chair eating my chips. Even though I feel so alone I know I'm not. Cause any one could hear the yelling of my 'beloved' parents. As I close my eyes, a hear a whimper. Craking one open, I see the messy brown hair of my four year old brother.

Closing my eyes I open up my arms, a motion he knew well. Soon there was a light weight on my lap,snuggling into my chest. This was normal for me to have him come to me when our parents fought. He would get sacred and run to my room. Where I would be on the old rocking chair trying to dround out the yelling with the slilent creaking of the old chair.

When he laid in my lap his little head listening to my heart beat, slowly going to sleep, as if I would protect him form all the hartred of the world. To him I was the the lion proctecing her young.

You see, ever sence my older brother died, my parent fought more and more, no one but me knew why John died, every one thought it was an acident. But I knew better, when he died I was left to proctect, both the babby and little Bobby. Little Bobby dosen't know that John died he isn't old enogh to understand. I tell him that John went to sleep for a long time and we would see him soon when we to whent to sleep for a long time. I know that some day I will have to tell him , but for now I will just be the mother lion.

In the distance I can hear the wails of the babby. I look down and see Bobby a sleep gently as I can lift him up in my arms and lay him on my bed, covering him up with a quilt I had at the foot of my bed. I walk to the babbys room which Bobby shared with her. Her face was all red and puffy a sign of which she was woken up from her nap. Usally she was quite a sleeper and didn't wake up till after her parentswere out drinking their life away.

So I quickly graped the new dippers I bought and the pink and blue blanket, and I snuck back in to my room craderling the babby in my arms. Smiling at the sight of Bobby snuggling in to my very used pillow I laid the babby acros the vainty John had bought me for my 14th birthday.

I canged her dipper and calmly put her on the makeshift craddle I had in my room. She almost instanly went to sleep. I flinched at the sound of the door slaming, then I sighed. Gone they were finally, gone I sit back into my rocking chair eating my chips. For now all was calm I could eat my chip wheil the young ones slept. I closed my eyes, and let my self drift away.

I jerked awake and looked at the clock that I fixed with duct tape, it read 5:00pm. Knowing that my Parents would be home soon wanting to know when dinner in ready, I waked down stairs, after making shure, Catty and Bobby were still asleep. When I reached the kitchen, I started something simple, Grub.

/A/N Grub is Rice, Gravy and Hanburger meat all mixed to gether, its really good/

At 5:30 I heard the door slam again, I flinched as my dads foot steps cames across the kitchen floor. I kepted my head down, as walked past graping the plate that I set on the table. I then gave him the beer that he always demanded, with every meal. I knew that he was already drunk, but if I denyed the beer, a beating would come soon after.

Noticing mom didn't come in I slowly backed out of the room and looked on the proch were she was, smoking a cancer stick. My cancer stick I noted. Sighing I graped, another pack of Kools, a beer and a plate of Grub, to give to here. Once both of my parents had their food, I grabed a botle from the icebox, and two plates of grub. Walking up the stairs, slowly as to not jumble the food, or the rist that dad broke that morning.

* * *

I came down the stairs with and empty bottle and two empty plates, putting them in the sink carefully, so my dad didn't beat me before bed.

"GIRL!" I jumped at the sound of my dads voice, dropping the plated in the sink.

I saw that they broke, I knew I was in deep shit now.

**

* * *

**

**Thankyou to al the reviewed the Snowball fic it was bad i can see that so now I'll try this one tell me what you think**

**THANKS SOOOO MUCH**

**Okay how was that one I know that there is alot i have to fix but rember I don't do this often**

**okay so review**


	2. this is not a chapter it is a AN

**Every one should read this, even if you didn't review. Sorry its not a new chapter, but that is on the way! So go ahead and read! **

**Thank you,**

To every one that reviewed Lost

Ok that was all good advice, I'm trying very hard to get this right, I don't write I read and review, and once I reread it, I found that every one was right I suck, I'm getting a beta, don't worry. Also I'm going to go head and rewrite the first chapter. It was something I had written in seventh grade when we had read the outsiders. But it didn't have the rape thing just the abuse. I thought it would make it more interesting This time though I'll leave the rape out.

I know that this kinda marry-sue, I'm trying me best to make it realistic, but you know most story's out there are marry-sue no matter what. And I've been writing like the story's I've read, and they always put the author notes during the story, and you know that helps some people. Also I don't think a lot of people know what grub is my uncle makes it for me, and he said that's what every one eats at the Army base, in TN

But all the advice was really good. About the Baby thing, I hit the b twice, a honest mistake. I also re read the chapter twice before, i published it and it seamed fine, then but now i know it ain't

Also the slang thing, I copied it from my friends slang book, she was trying to be a cool, it didn't work. Lol but thats Ok I don't spell very well, and when I spelled checked it said every thing was spelled right. But who knows, I'll go and use a dictionary.

Mo um Ok I know a lot about rape seeing as my best friend was raped by her step dad. She is still getting over it. Also I know a lot about the 60's my English class had to do a paper on the outsiders time line. Don't worry, I was going to put like, the slang, and the new T.V shows, and a little different types of drugs. It's wok.

Also i have an idea of the second chapter but I don't know so any Idea's, and any thing on how I should re do the first chapter?

I do enjoy, all the advice, I know that no one was trying to be mean, don't worry, I would have done the same thing, in fact I do! Lol

I have issue with texting so sometimes might write in text form. I'm really sorry about that, just tell me if I start and I'll go back in fix it. Ok so thats all for now I believe

Oh and to any one that didn't review, I'm sorry if you didn't like it, or if you are disappointed that this isn't a new chapter. But when you review, I know if you liked it or not, so tell me I wont bite, I promise. Ok I take that back I do bite, but only my boyfriend, he thinks it kinky, what do ya know Lol

Ok I'm done now

once again Thanks to all

Bye Babydoll


End file.
